*Sigh*

The rehearsal today was ok, managed to attempt  three songs. They actually changed the date for the launch now so it's Jan 4th. That's due to lack of preparation and availability of the musicians. We still have to rehearse though, while we are available to do so.

I realized something today, I've totally lost my zeal for playing the guitar. And to make it worse, Monty came to the rehearsal today, Tessanne's second guitarist (the guy who fills in for me when I can't make gigs with Shaggy or anyone else, he's the first person I call). And... dude really can play, very well too. So I'm like, "why do I even bother?"

I think I need to go away somewhere for a couple months or something, alone, off the grid, get my thoughts together...get my whole life together .......
Last week I told myself that music would no longer be the priority, got to find another source of income and make it the primary one, music would be what I do for fun.  Looks like I've planted a seed that's slowly turning me off of playing now...

It's all sort of  a contradiction because I'm hear scheduling time every week to come up with concepts to write songs which has been going ok. But, I donno...it's what I know...actually...it's all I know....for now anyways..

Ok that's it for tonight, gonna go bake a banana bread and go to bed.

PEACE!